Aligning your inner voice with your outer voice

Do you talk to yourself in your head? What does it sound like? This common practice can sometimes be overlooked when learning to modify one's speaking voice. The voice in your head may not have a sound to you, but if it does, it may sound more like an undesired, unmodified voice and less like the speaking voice that is changing and serving you better. In that case, aligning your inner voice with those outer changes may help you achieve more overall progress and vocal satisfaction.   

How can that happen? Basically, the outer and inner voices can help each other. Simply apply your voice modification techniques to your inner voice, using what you hear aloud to shift what you hear silently as well. In this way, the outer voice can lead the inner voice to carryover those new talking patterns to those private thinking moments, closer to your inner self and your inner feelings.

And how can the inner voice help the outer voice? Hearing your modified voice in your head gives the brain more 'talking time' to form new neural pathways for voice. As such, the inner voice can help to make the outer voice more reliable than before, as a more engrained habit. And in a very practical sense, your inner voice can be integrated with your voice commands, such as hearing a higher pitch in your head, not just thinking a higher pitch. This can be a way to rehearse something before saying it, whether in a practice session or a real situation.

So, let's consider a few ideas for practice and daily talking. It's easier than you might think!   

Task 1: Pick a single voice technique (or set of techniques), and practice it by reading single sentences two times in a row each, first silently, then aloud. Let's stick with higher pitch as an example: Aim your pitch higher when reading one sentence silently and then aloud. Other techniques may target articulation or resonance, in which case, you could also mouthe the words when practicing the silent part to help the brain adapt new tongue placement patterns.

Task 2: Do the same as above, but instead of reading, count or say the days of the week two times in a row, first silently, then aloud.  

Task 3: Similarly, talk to yourself silently about something for one or two sentences, then aloud.

Task 4: Do you find that your silent self-talk is negative? Try reading uplifting texts or saying positive affirmations as your practice or daily routine. In this way, you are working on self-esteem as well as voice!

Task 5: Say "good morning" and "good night" to yourself silently with your modified voice.

Task 6: If you notice that you are talking to yourself in an unmodified voice, immediately shift it if you can.

Task 7: If you are in a real speaking situation and need a little voice boost to get started or get back on track, say "hmm" in your head for a moment, in your best modified voice, before starting to speak.

Start and end well

Maintaining your chosen voice techniques can be challenging at any level of your gender affirming voice process. Are you starting to practice talking, and find it mentally challenging to think of what to say while also modifying how you sound? Have you practiced a lot but find it hard to get started in real-life conversations? Or perhaps you regularly modify your voice in conversations but tend to lose consistency, particularly during a brain-heavy or anxiety-provoking speaking situation? Rather than trying to sound perfect in every moment of a sentence, consider, as a next step, this general guideline - START AND END WELL.

This idea is nothing new. It is often used as practical advice outside speech, such as when writing a letter or an essay, when working with others on a project, or when dancing or playing a sport, as in a gymnast beautifully executing the landing of a back flip. It simply means to make the beginning and ending especially good.

In terms of speech, this idea can be useful because the impression we give primarily stems from what a listener first experiences and what they are left with, or, in other words, what they hear first and last. People hopefully are paying attention to us all of the time, but the beginning and ending are typically the most memorable parts.

So how do you make your voice START AND END WELL? Simply focus more to how you need to make the beginning and ending sound, with whatever technique(s) you are targeting. Start by nailing that first sentence or first few words, and regardless of how well you are continuing, make sure to nail the ending too. To practice, you can start with a single sentence, then two sentences, then a paragraph, then make up things to say, such as commenting on what you read or talking to yourself about things you need to do for the day.

To START AND END WELL in conversation with others, try your best voice throughout, but pay special attention to the beginning and ending. As you begin to do well at that, you can then become more mindful of the middle. Even if there is backsliding as you talk, your listener(s) will likely not find it jarring to hear your voice shift again at the end. This is due to the dynamics of English intonation as well as listener focus on content more than sound. START AND END WELL can be a good guideline for short coffee orders, phone conversations, interviews, meeting people, attending a meeting, or giving a presentation.

So, if you find it challenging to modify your voice throughout an interaction, think START AND END WELL. It may help you take advantage of the attention patterns of the listener, and make an important next step in achieving a more satisfying voice.

Say NO to "no pain, no gain"

There is a common phrase that is used with some exercise workouts: "No pain, no gain." It refers to the belief that pushing yourself harder will create better results. But is this true for voice modification?

Producing any new type of gendered sound can be challenging, particularly if a technique requires more physical energy or a different kind of physical energy. Ask yourself: Are you feeling any vocal strain? Are you experiencing throat discomfort from practicing or talking? Are you feeling vocal fatigue after using a modified voice for longer periods? These are signs of vocal health problems that can lead to vocal fold injury.  

The fact is that new vocal habits do not require that you push your voice hard. They demand precision and accuracy. This involves a delicate balance of air pressure above and below the vocal folds resulting from sufficient breath support, relaxation, and resonant voice placement in the upper airway. This can be achieved when aiming the voice in different gendered ways, such as a higher or lower pitch, or creating brighter or darker resonance, or being louder or quieter. This includes learning how to manage loudness if your vocal fold mass has increased from testosterone.

But even with precision and accuracy, you may still experience strain or discomfort or fatigue. In that case, you may simply have the wrong voice target. Your vocal folds may not be able to physically handle, for example, a pitch that is too high or too low from your baseline pitch, or a sound that is too loud or too quiet on a regular basis. Luckily, because there is an overlap of various gendered patterns, targets don’t typically need to be super big to attain a sufficient shift in gender perception.

In addition, being aware of your daily habits is also important, since vocal health problems can be compounded by talking a lot and by certain dietary choices, such as alcohol and smoking.

So, if you are experiencing vocal strain, throat discomfort, or vocal fatigue, consider the following:

• Shift your voice with less physical force.

• Ease up on how much of a shift you are aiming for (less high or less low, for example).

• Do a few lip trills (aka raspberries) at an easy pitch.

• Blow the "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" song through a straw onto your hand.

• Rest your voice.

• Try a salt water gargle.

If your symptoms persist, consider a consultation with a laryngologist, or contact me at New York Speech & Voice Lab (347-677-3619 or cblock@speechvoicelab.com). I am here to put the myth of "no pain, no gain" to rest!

Tracking your voice in different contexts

Have you noticed how your voice and communication can change depending on the situation? How do you talk to a coworker, boss, classmate, friend, family member, coffee shop barista, or pet? What words do you use? How does your voice sound? How is your pitch and how do you move it around? How loud or quiet are you? How much do you talk? What is your communication style - direct? easy-going? something else? What is your body language like?

These questions relate to many of the factors that can affect your voice and communication in context, such as: Who you are talking to, what you are talking about, where you are talking, how long you are talking, what time of day it is, how you are feeling emotionally, how you are feeling physically, or what else might be on your mind in the moment.

Why does this matter? Well, keeping track of your interactions in different contexts can help to define what you want or need to change in terms of gender presentation. If you are considering voice modification, think about the situations you are in. What do you like or not like in terms of your voice generally, and which situations are less or more problematic for you?

And if you are already working on your voice, these kinds of questions can help you keep track of your progress. You may be pleasantly surprised that you are doing better than you think (!), and you can see what you still need to work on. If something didn't go well, what factors were at play? Was it hard to focus on your voice because of the topic? Or because you weren't feeling well? Understanding the WHY may help you juggle particular situations better as well as be kind to yourself if you were in a challenging situation.

The takeaway is that you communicate in complex contexts on a daily basis. Your ability to navigate social interactions as a speaker of natural language gives you a strong foundation to further modify your behavior intentionally and successfully for gender. So, if, at some point, you feel disappointed about how you modified your voice in a particular situation, remind yourself that just being human makes you flexible enough to give it a go next time.

Strained or tired voice? Sing through a straw!

Straw phonation, or making sound through a straw, is a common therapeutic exercise for vocal health problems such as vocal strain or tired voice. These symptoms can occur for a number of reasons, including strenuously modifying the voice for gender presentation, starting testosterone, speaking too much or too little, or speaking loudly for long periods. Having a poor audio set up on Zoom calls can sometimes lead to pushing the voice too hard as well.

-- How does it work? Straw phonation is a type of semi-occluded vocal tract (SOVT) exercise, meaning that it partially blocks the space of the upper airway during sound production. In this way, it creates resistance, sending energy back towards the vocal folds and establishing more balanced air pressure, which makes it easier for the vocal folds to vibrate efficiently, with less work. In an earlier blog post, I discussed lip trills, which is another excellent SOVT exercise that requires no props, but the straw has an added effect in that it lengthens the vocal tract (since the sound exits from the tip of the straw rather than your lips) and narrows the space of the upper airway (since the diameter is smaller than your mouth). Because of this, it can have varying effects depending on the size and length of the straw. SOVT exercises, when done properly, could potentially result in immediate improvement in vocal quality, power, endurance, and general ease in speaking or singing or manipulating the voice to reach and maintain different pitches, whether higher or lower.

-- How do you do it? Don't worry, you don't have to be a singer! You just need to be able to hold a note for a few seconds or hum a simple tune. Here are some options. Take a regular-sized straight straw, and…

• Blow "hoo" through the straw at a straight easy middle pitch for 8-10 seconds. And/or,

• Blow the Happy Birthday song or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or some other easy tune through the straw. Don't mouthe the words or use your tongue. Just blow "hoo" for every note of the song. And/or,

• Blow "hoo" through the straw with varying pitch like an ambulance siren or revving of a motorcycle for 8-10 seconds. And/or,

• After doing any of these exercises above in an easy middle pitch range, try them in a slightly higher or lower pitch range if your goal is to modify your range for speaking or singing. Go slowly to prevent voice breaks.

With each of these exercises, try to achieve the same effort as you would with your normal/habitual voice, not louder or quieter, and with easy effort, no hard blowing or pushing. Check that you are actually blowing air through the straw by putting your hand up near the end of the straw and feeling for air on your hand. You can also test that the air is appropriately exiting the straw rather than your nose by holding your nose while you blow. Or are you dizzy? Don't blow as hard or as long. If you feel you are doing it right, and it sounds and feels good after doing one or more of these exercises for a total of no more than 2-3 minutes, you can do it again for 2-3 minutes periodically throughout the day to relieve your vocal health symptom. You could also do it at the beginning of the day as a vocal warm-up, or before doing other voice practice. If you continue to experience problems, consider an online or in-person consultation with a voice-specialized speech-language pathologist or laryngologist.

Happy blowing!